I don't say that in a mean way. I say it in a rational way. If you realize that you did indeed have a choice whether to have a relationship or not with him, the more power you have in future choices.
Look back when you met: you couldn't help falling in love with him. He was so, so, so amazing. So, I don't know, different. He got your juices flowing, motor revving, and every part of you tingly.
Mother Nature rocks it in the hormones department so it's no wonder we become chemically attracted to someone. But when the chemicals ebb, and your brain begins thinking again, you can look at that special someone rationally.
A person who creates the greatest chemical reaction may not be the best partner long term. Really look at him. Go over your must have list .Is he trustworthy? Is he your friend? Are you covering up things about him ( or bad habits such as drugs or drinking) to friends and family? Is he extremely involved with children or family members that could potentially make your life miserable? Do you accept him as is, as in..you are not looking to change him? Does he treat you with respect?
We may get swept away in the beginning stages of love. Enjoy it. Rock it. Feel it. But if red flags start popping up, resist the rose colored glasses. You DO have a choice in partners. remember , you can be attracted to someone and not get into a relationship with them.
If you ignore the red flags and things go sour, it's your decision whether to continue or not. You Do have the power. Also, there is NO age or time frame when we should know better.
We all learn at our own pace. At different ages. Make your mistakes. Learn your lessons. Listen to women who give good advice,, even if you are not ready to follow their advice.. Someday, when you are ready, you will make the right choices. Many of us kiss a lot of toads (or fish) before we invest our love and time in a worthwhile partner. The key is to not beat yourself up in the process.
Peace, May
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